Jillian Michaels VS Bret Michaels

I recently read a blog that my bff Awag told me about. http://confessionsofanexgirlfriend.wordpress.com/. Love it. Exgf is trying Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I thought I would too. So here I am  negative $8. I completed my first day. Not bad. I think I can hang. We shall see. But, I totally felt like the fat kid for sho.
There are a lot of simualrites between Jillian and my sweet Brettypoosmoockins. Here it go.
                 

 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN  MICHAELS VS MICHAELS

     Bret can shred it on the guitar( i think...) 
               Jillian shreds it in the gym
    Bret makes my heart race when he sings about thorns
            Jillian makes my heart race when she makes me fake jumprope
       Bret totally has long brown hair( died blonde! have you seen his roots?)
                Jillian also has brown hair( this post is sucking wind)
          Bret makes a lot of money off of chubthumpers like me. AKA his reality shows
                 Jillian makes a lot of money off of fatty mgilicuttys like me too.

Last but not least, I feel throwuppy after I watch them on TV. Why does Brettygushymook like those dirt-tay chicks? They are so... grace challenged. And Jillian, I was a little sick after playing her "You are almost done game" Really Jillian? I'm done now BAM!

KO.. that was painful. The post sounded better in my head. To my 3 readers out there, I plan to post the Lash-out extravaganza tomorrow. If, that is,  I can move my neck, I hurt it doing Jillian's "not in your neck crunches" Yes, told you I sound like a classic fatty. 
BTW, I know I mis-use commas. I like ........doing....leading....dots....(or whatever they are called). Sorry.

Goodbye sucky broccoli post. Off you go into the abyss. Better luck tomorrow. Stay drama free chickpea. La La L8r.