Teeter Totter

Its a boys club. In general, having a career as a mom is like trying to navigate in a all boys club. I get it, I can do anything. I love the fact that in my industry, very few women make it. But, I take to heart that I do get "beat" in the career game by others in my field...because I am Me mom and woman warrior. I carry the weight of my mom guilt.  It makes it so hard to climb up that corporate ladder. Yes, we can do anything, but come on, what AREN'T we sacrificing? We are sacrificing our family. Plain and simple.

How do you do it? When you have the undying drive to GO... be the best...not be ordinary, be successful. If I hear a someone say "BALANCE" one more time I will go to the market. Because it is a myth.Just like jeans that make you skinny or fat free lava cake.  You can't balance. Is it REALLY meant to be a balance? Are we really supposed to spend 50% of our time at work? Really? Really? ( Bonus points if you count all of the reallys')Our lives just aren't work and family.....or they shouldn't be. Right? Easier said than done.

Its like a  boys club. I have a monthly meeting with others in my industry. The fellas gabbed about what fellas gab about (my hubby included) football, golf , bets... . They were all set for a nice lunch and golf after the meeting. Making sure to solidify golf and baseball game plans for the rest of the week. I don't have time for it. How guilt stricken would I feel if I took my afternoons to golf and not be with my kids instead? In and out.  In my professional career I have NEVER heard any male co worker say " I hope that my career doesn't hurt the emotional balance of my children"  I am not dogging men. Palease....not at all. What I am dogging is the mess that this all is. The deterioration of the family. The HEAVY guilt moms feel for just doing what is expected of them. For trying not to do too much or not to excel too much  as to put their childrens emotional state in jeopardy.

 Today on XM Catholic radio, I heard  (Matthew 25:14-30). All about talent. God gave us ALL talent.Some more than others. To use and to multiply. I feel in my gut, that on most days, I really am making a difference in other peoples lives by continuing to work. Would I be squandering my talent away if I did not continue with my career? If I did nothing with the "gifts" God has given me. God has given me this career. Most of the time I am good at it. I consider it a talent.  Its so hard. I long to be with my kids. I do want to help others. I AM LUCKY TO BE EMPLOYED. I plan to stay that way. I'm just saying, we have got to be real. Women can do. But how do we do it all?

:)

My meeting with Sister R went great. Basically, she just sat and listened. I cannot wait until our next visit a month from now. I am so grateful that God has lead me this way. I am CERTAIN that this is what I need right now in my life. I am excited at the growth I will experience. How great it is.   I am surprised at the number of others who have had spiritual direction in their life. I guess it is a no brainer. But, for me it, seemed sort of a radical holy roller move. Not at all. I am incredibly thrilled, happy, joyous that God has given me this grace.

Moving on, one reason I hesitated about being a blogity blog queen... sad sad blogs. I always worried that it was some sort of a curse to blog. Bad events would happen. But then I have come to realize, we just are now more aware of  others crosses that they carry. They aren't statistically happening more. We just know about them because the bloggy world allows others to open up about events that happen in their lives. Even more so than in the "real world" So much easier being semi -anonymous than  Mrs. Just Me who always talks Catholic at the gym. Instead, I talk Catholic online and live a Catholic life.  So, for the most part, I am at ease with the curse I continue to blog away. Without starting blogging, I wouldn't have found such incredible faith examples to touch base with daily. Thanks!

September almost over? The kids and I will be putting up Halloween Decorations this weekend .My big boy has decided to be Batman, little boy will be Spider man, and my princess will be Cinderella. Very secular but very easy on the pocket book and creativity for mom. Fall / Winter really is our favorite time of the year. So many family get togethers. Thanksgiving and Christmas OH MY!  Seriously, will wait... but I cant wait! What do you like about this time of year? The crisp weather, beautiful trees, cozy sweaters(fat clothes), family time... OR NEW TV SITCOMS? Ugh, I am getting sucked in slowly. 

My husband spent about 13 hours in front of the TV Sunday watching all football known to man. I made cookies with the kids, cleaned, played, knit... It was kinda nice. He doesn't care about the messes we are making. He was with his first love. I cant remember the last time I got to do that...hum.
                                                    
                                          ALERT (font color change, its ground breaking)

You heard it here first.. I believe that Webster's dictionary will put  :) into its book.

Definition- :) 

1. Emotionally speaking to be happy. ie: I am so happy :)
2. Please take this as being not so mean even though it sounds like it. ie: Could you do this today without messing it up :)
3. I  am not crazy ie:   My dog has fleas, my sister is living with me, and I lost my keys this morning , Great day :)
4. In jest   ie:  If you can think of any others...just let me know...  I am sure this is a very persuading case to add to the book :)

God bless you today.



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Tomorrow is a big day. Call it my next step. I will be visiting a spiritual advisor. She is a nun whose primary job is to help others with their spiritual direction. I have had challenges in the past and thought, maybe I would benefit from going to a counselor of some sort. If Bethany Frankel does, why don't I? But, I kept coming back to.... All I need is a better relationship with God. My problems would be easier ( I guess) if I had this solid foundation. So in a sense, I guess this thought is what led me to where I am today. Building.

Some of you may be OMG, spiritual advisor really? Heck yes. Its ok to want to have a deep relationship with God. Our secular world makes fun of those who truly seek that relationship. BTW, when I started blogging, I suppose that I did not intend to dive so deeply into my faith. Out loud. For that matter, i didn't intend  to talk about it so much. What I have come to realize is that I have needed a place to talk about it. That's it. In real life, and even in bloggy land, religion makes people uncomfortable. It shouldn't. At all. If you are uncomfortable, do something about it. If you are knowing, living, being, learning, growing in and of God, what is there to be uncomfortable about? So you can be a playa hata all you want, but I'm gonna. That's right I'm gonna.

I will have to drive at least 40 minutes away to meet my nun.....that makes her an expert right?

Thank you to those who blog about their truth. Your blogs have helped in my growth. Allowed me to feel comfortable in whom I am becoming.

Step by Step--OH Baby! NKOTB!

Isn't half of the challenge of life just taking the first step. If you spend all of your life anticipating, waiting for the right time to be who you are supposed to be, doesn't your life pass you by? In my mind, I feel that someday I could be a great person. One who has time for everyone. One who helps those in need. This has always been a someday thing. I want to make big changes commit my entire being. But, with a full time job and children, I feel my family has been the first place to start and perfect.

However, today at mass, some random stranger called me by my first name. I turned around and asked if he was a cop :) ( just kidding). Anyhoo, he had known me due to my business. He was asking for help getting a new family homeless shelter off the ground. I have always felt strong compassion for those who do not have homes. I have always wanted to help. But I just didn't feel like it was my time.Ugh... Saying that reminds me of Jesus  when Mary told him at the Wedding at Canna to make water in to wine.... "its not my time woman".  I think you get my drift though....  But really, to be actually called by name by a stranger, after mass, seemed like I couldn't be hit over the head with a larger mallet to get my attention. So, because that gentleman took the first step. I will too. I have already made a few calls to financially secure individuals who can more than likely help with funding. I plan to commit time and as much money as I can.

Although, this might seem small to others, I feel that this is the work of the holy spirit. Nudging us to do for others. To be better people. I truly deep down believe that even the smallest actions can be inspired in part by the holy spirit. Ultimately by God.  No doubt.

My son's actions this morning fell short of being inspired. That goose. He wanted to go to school, but he didn't want to get dress, eat, brush his hair etc. I laid out clothes for the little little to put on. Mad because he didn't like it. I gave him a break and gave him another choice. He came into my room "changed" wearing his spider man pj top and the shorts he wore yesterday to school. He has been refusing to eat breakfast. Don't bad mom's send their kids to school without eats? I was not going to send him, maybe he was getting sick. OR MAYBE HE WAS ACTING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD! Yes, that was it. No the best way to start the day. But, we are over it now. Hopefully a better week next week.

Happy Birthday to one Great Mother. Happy Birthday Mother Mary! Bet Jesus never acted that way :)

Short

As my hubby and I were laying in bed last night chatting about our big boy. Today was his first day of Pre-4. My lovely husband said " Well, we only have him 14 more years" Meaning he will be off to college soon. So true though. This past 5 years has gone by so swiftly. We have been so blessed with our children, home and our lives together. He said he will start sleeping with one eye open... I'm ready for number 4!

Daisy Dukes

All I can say... we grow in faith in different ways. God is really stretching me! I don't really want to dive into the details. Nothing major... I just feel like I am back at square one on a few "life items" in progress.

I am desperately looking forward to this weekend. I cant wait to spend some time with the kidlets doing the stuff they love. We just don't do enough during the week. More like get home, make dinner, eat, baths, books. bed. I know what the biggest time sucker outer in our life is.... TV. I hate it. HATE. My husband refuses to turn it off. My sitter must have it on all day. Any chance I get, I turn that bad boy off. I just don't like it. the end on that mini mini rant.

I am trying to save some bucks after the recent purchase of my Mercedes :) Slowly, we will be adjusting to one income. By choice. So many don't have the choice. But, we have decided to save my husbands income and live off of mine. Our choices of saving ..........investing, 529 plans,emergency funds and whole life insurance. As I type, we are basically saving at least one paycheck already. So it shouldn't be too bad on the other.

Instead of being fearful of job loss. Live it. Self induced.As with everything...God walks with us.

HAVE A VERY SAFE HOLIDAY WEEKEND!